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| HOW TO CONFRONT A DRUG
ADDICT |
Getting help for an addict is tough but
worth it |
Don't expect any hugs of gratitude or warm, fuzzy thank-you
notes for trying to help someone with an addiction. At least, not right away.
Getting treatment for a loved one or friend with a substance-abuse problem can
be frustrating, infuriating and heartbreaking, since they often deny they even
have a problem.
Typical addicts will get defensive or come up with a
very convincing explanation, often believing their own lies,"They may lash out
at the loved one who suggests they need help. They're adept at redirecting the
spotlight on the people and situations around them. Trying to help an addict
requires incredible strength, caring and patience. But the effort is usually
worth it if there's a chance you can save the person and your
relationship.
Most people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol need an
outside force to break through their denial. Very few people ever decide to
stop drinking or using drugs on their own. Ultimately, however, people with
substance-abuse problems are responsible for their own treatment and recovery.
Loved ones must realize they cannot control the addict. They didn't cause the
addiction, they can't cure it, and they can't force anyone to go into
treatment.
Addiction treatment experts offer the following tips to
guide you in helping someone who has a substance abuse problem.
- Check out insurance coverage. See if your insurance (if the
addict is a family member) covers any portion of drug or alcohol treatment.
- Confront addicts only when they're straight and sober.
Approach them in a gentle way. You don't have to be angry or nasty or
self-righteous about it. Just try to be helpful. Talk nonjudgmentally about
your feelings about their drinking or drug abuse. Point out problems that their
behavior has caused, but do it in a caring way.
- Offer information about several treatment options. Narconon
of Georgia offers variety of addiction-treatment programs – from 28-day
residential settings to day and evening outpatient programs or we can help
arrange a program closer to you.
- Don't do anything that supports the continuation of the
addiction problem. Don't "call in sick" for them if they're hung over. Don't
pay their bills if they're delinquent. Don't make excuses for their erratic
behavior. It's time to let them face their responsibilities and face the
consequences. If you do everything for them, they have no consequences, so
what's the motivation to change?
If they deny or minimize their addiction problem, consider
organizing an intervention. The meeting should combine family and friends who
confront the addict with his or her behavior and how it affects each of them.
"One of the reasons intervention works is that it's not just one opinion. It's
a group of people, and it's the impact of the masses," says Betty Ford Center
chief Susan Ford Bales, who organized an intervention for her mother, former
first lady Betty Ford, 26 years ago. "Confront them one-on-one and it's simply
the alcoholic or drug addict versus the straight person."
List specific
consequences if the addict continues to drink or use drugs. Project how their
behavior will affect the future. For example, if they continue to use alcohol
or drugs in this manner, you will divorce them. Or you don't want them to call
you. Or they can no longer live in your house. Or they will be fired from their
job. Whatever you tell them can't be a bluff. You've got to be willing to stick
by it.
We have found that families, when guided through the process, can
best convice the addict to seek help. Call today and we will fax you an
Intervention Form which covers step by step instructions.
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